Three months later…

After my epiphany in August, I got busy. Not your normal type of busy, but the type of busy where you just don’t want to move forward. I look back on my Facebook, blog, IG, etc posts and see where I’m wanting an inward change but, when it is time to really do it, REALLY do it, I freak out and shut down.

Is it the fact I am lazy, no because I really want this change. I want to be different. Is it the fact I cannot do it; no again I can do this. I’ve come to the conclusion, I’m scared. I am frightened to make these changes because they are so outside my comfort zone, err rut.

Is it because I care what people think? Nope, if I cared what people think I would have curled up into a ball at age 7 or 8 and died. Am I afraid of the work involved, no I think I kinda like that part.

I am afraid of failure, I’m really good at whatever I put my mind to. Not boastful, it is a simple truth. But, I think I am afraid of that one thing that I cannot master. Like running into one thing that I cannot do, what would happen? I really never wanted to find out.

Now, I find myself back here thinking of true mental change, and what I want, and I’m tired, not terrified. I am tired of being in the same place, on the cusp of change. I’m like Lysa Terkeurst when she was holding on wanting to jump, but afraid of the fall. She had a rope but, it did not feel like enough. But, she was and is more that enough. She is a powerful angel in the lives of so many. I WANT THAT!

I want someone to be inspired by my life, not look at it and see something mediocre. I want to be this beautiful flawed creature, that helps someone in pain fly. I want my pain, my past, my mistakes to be so meaningful they can not EVER be ignored.

Hooo RAR! Right? So now to begin. I have been working on some short stories about my youth for a book call SNF (So Not Fair). I think I am going to pick it back up and, write more. Maybe I will take time and think about how I want my impact, I had been terrified to post video’s but maybe now is the time to post something

Ah yes, another road rage story

Let me tell you what happened yesterday to me on my way home. I was heading down a pretty busy street when the person in front of me stopped suddenly, I looked over and saw I could fit in the lane next to me and dodged over into that lane quickly. It was exhilarating, to say the least, there was just enough room, and when I say just enough room, I mean like an inch. I was so scared. I calmed myself and continued to drive down the tree-lined streets.

Now, what I didn’t know was this little SUV behind me, you know with the inches between her/him and me. I had apparently scared, irritated, insert your own adjective here. Now it’s spring, I love trees so I’m clearly oblivious to their anger. Also, I have to point out that the truck in front of me was doing JUST the speed limit. While that did not bother me in the slightest, it might have made this situation worse.

Anyway, I get a bit further on my route and I move into another lane. This SUV speeds past like it’s on fire and I’m wondering if the truck and I have delayed it and I start to wonder if maybe that car is angry. But, what people think of you is none of your business right? So I have to get behind this SUV for a few blocks.

Here is where it gets interesting. We pull to a light I need to turn at, right? I move to turn and I look up to see this driver is giving me the finger. See I know it was meant for me because there was no one else around. That got me thinking.

I continued to drive down through tree lines streets thinking, I drove 2200 miles in the last, through five states, AND Atlanta and no one had ever even honked at me. Here on my way home in my own city, I’ve pissed someone off. How retched!!

To the person I irritated, I’m sorry it was not my intention!

To everyone else, this situation has made me pause. Sure I’ve had a lot of road rage in my day. I have combat driven as well, but not perfect. But, when I’m in those situations I really do not think about the other person. Did they mean to cut me off? Are they blocking me for a reason? What is their motivation? The next time I’m in this situation I kid you not, I am going to attempt to put myself in their shoes and see if maybe something unrelated to me is going on. And give them a bit of MERCY and try not to get mad.

Let’s face it I’m not going to succeed all the time, but at least my heart is in the right place, right?

…Happy

… Happy, really are you kidding me? What does that even mean?

The more I look into this vague word, the more I learn this answer is different for everyone.

Money, fame, etc, and so on. but, is that happy?

The more I think about it the more tired I get. The more anxiety grabs hold and won’t let go. Is happy supposed to be elusive? HA! It is or is it?

Another thing I’m learning is that it depends on your point of view. What you see your world is, determines your attitude to it. That sounds like a quote doesn’t it? I googled it and could not really find an owner so if you find one let me know otherwise, “I claim this quote for the planet Mars!” or wait that’s Marvin the Martian.

But, the quote is true. If you see your day is bad, it’s very likely it will be. If you see your day slipping and you slip with it, you will go cascading down the spiral mudslide like Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas. At the end, one thought it was a good ride and the other was traumatized. It is all .. .really all in how you look at it.

I read a devotion this morning about a woman who lost her house to a fire. Life-changing yes, traumatic yes sir! But, it was a positive experience for her. She saw it as freeing. A change to start again. I AM NOT THAT BRAVE!

Or, am I ? I look back at the experiences in my life and although I did wallow in some circumstances, I did not wallow in all. In fact, in the end, I did not wallow in any. I picked myself up, or was pulled up, or pulled kicking and screaming but, I did it.

None of it was easy. But, anything in life worth doing is never easy, (I know that one is a quote).

Oh right, a point! I knew I had one!

What was it? Life is what you make it? No, that’s not it? Life is how you see it? Maybe, that was it?

Honestly, life is what you think plus what you see divided by reality. What you see plus what you think divided by what is actually there gives you life. That sounds like a good place to start. What about what you feel? And, how about what you do? It gets all jumbled, doesn’t it?

How about happiness in life is what you feel plus how you look at the situations in that life. Rather than trying to complicate it with all the outside forces how about, we figure happy as to how I feel and what I see? And, then we realize that the feeling of happy is specific to us at this second on this planet.

Meaning that happy is not universal, and there is no one size fits all. I think that we are on to something with it. Happy is a very very personal thing. I don’t think you could ever really share your version of happy with anyone else. I think we should enjoy our version of happy anyway we can take it. Maybe it’s a brief second of a sunrise, a cup of really good tea (ok, coffee), or the purr of a cat, a yip of a dog and anything in between.

You find your happy and enjoy it, I know i’m going to enjoy mine. May you have several happy’s today!!

PS Grammarly wanted to change my happy to happiness, I don’t think that is right I want one instance of happy to enjoy at a time, so I know that it IS happiness. Then I can move on the more than one happiness of life!!

Your opinion could be right….

I saw a cartoon in the paper the other day that had an old man labeled 2021 walking out and a baby in a whirlwind trying to hang on. The caption said something to the effect of “hang on kid”. It was in the KC Star, probably on a political page. One thing I did in 2021 is get a print subscription to the paper. It is pretty expensive, but it is very worth it. It would pay for itself if I used the coupons which is what I intended to do, one of the many reasons I started taking the paper. Another reason was to try and get a full snapshot of what is going on.

So many times we watch the news and read the paper and we forget that these programs are the viewpoints of others. When someone is reporting the news they are doing it through the lens of their life. Their viewpoint. We all need to remember, that the viewpoint being offered might not be the one we really want with that being said, here is the following.

I have agreed with Anderson Cooper, with Tucker Carlson, with Abraham Lincoln, with Stonewall Jackson, with Maya Angelou (I tend to agree with her more than anyone except Pope Benedict), and so on. The point is that not every person is completely evil, nor are people completely good. We are all fallible human beings, prone to utter things based on things we have learned in our lives.

No, I do believe there is evil in this world, and I believe there are wonderful people too. I think the choices you make are evil or good, not you, yourself. So what is the point of this? Simple, our viewpoint is based on our life experience. If you find someone who has a different viewpoint than you do, you should ask them why they believe the way they do, and then actually sit and listen. More than likely if you had the life that person had, you would believe the way they do. But, you haven’t, true. You could also respect that person’s life.

So many times in this world we sit back and down others saying that they are wrong. Which they are wrong, from our point of view. Also, you are wrong from their point of view. That does not mean that you cannot listen and glean something from what they feel is true. You just have to want to. Most of us don’t. I don’t either most of the time if I’m honest. I like being right, I like having the knowledge, it feels well powerful. It really doesn’t mean I’m powerful it just means I know a lot. To all those I’ve acted superior to, I dreadfully apologize, and I concede you are right.

Maybe that is the point, to grow and understand. To realize that your viewpoint is not really the right one, maybe there is no right one. Maybe it is only an opinion with what is right, right now. Tomorrow with new information it might change. It makes me scratch my head and sit back bewildered asking “Are you kidding me?”

Maybe I do need to go to law school …lol

Positive Thinking

“The way we think dictates our behavior”..Pastor Richard Young said these words this morning. As soon as they were in my ears I felt like I had been hit over the head with a clue. It’s true, a very, very wonderful friend asked me, “How are you dealing with this?”. She asked because with the news comes anxiety, hate, fear and everything else, along with good information. What’s the balance. I told her I look once a day and try not to become overwhelmed. I protect my self the best I can and look for the positive things. I’m not very successful if i’m honest. But, the point is I KEEP trying . So here are my tips for trying to keep yourself from falling apart.

1. LIMIT your exposure to the news. you do NOT have to watch every news conference, read an article instead of watching so you re not swayed by the emotions that are playing out on TV
2. Find something that makes you laugh, and watch, read, enjoy it at LEAST once a day, maybe more.
3. Eat healthy, try and limit (note I said TRY) bad things, comfort foods, but seriously we all have to cope with the odd Oreo or cocktail.
4. Seek professional help. There ARE people who will help you, if you find yourself overwhelmed use Teladoc, or some equally wonderful program which will put you in touch with someone who will listen.
5. Do not cut your hair we are none of us that desperate …. yet

❤

Life Lessons With Wendy​

These are I kid you not, nuggets that people in my life have taught me. They really are in no order and they are people places things, books, etc. you get the idea.

My Children-

My Oldest – Compassion and a Love for everything

My Middle Oldest – The concept of unconditional love

My Middle Youngest – Passion for everything

My Youngest = You should be gentle and loving to everything around you (including Amazon’s Alexa)

My Husband- Don’t ever give up, even when you think you can handle no more!

RCX- Don’t EVER marry your job, it’s a cheating idiot.

All my best friends, commrades and partners in crime for childhood- Time matters not, distance matters not, the only thing that matters is that you hang on to each other by E-mai, Text, Phone, or Facebook.

My Mother- Never deny yourself something you love, you could die tomorrow and have never enjoyed it.

My Father- Sometimes you have to let them go, and you have to realize they will never return.

My Job now: Boundaries are not just okay they are MANDATORY!

The things that click:

• -Love everyone, but don’t trust them
• -You can claw people to you, but that doesn’t mean they will stay
• -You only have once chance to say anything, make it count
• -Your reaction to anything is the only thing you really, honestly own. Choose your response wisely.
• -Shut up and listen (after 46 years i’m still learning this)

 

I really felt compelled to share things with all of you. This not all of them just some that have been banging in my noggin latley.

❤ me

The War On Common Sense

Everytime I hear the phrase “common sense” I roll my eyes. Anyone who knows me can tell you that rolling my eyes is my most favorite exercise. Why do you ask, do these two words envoke this reaction from me? Because there is no such thing. Allow me to elborate (please).

The word common. Common for whom? For who? For what? Most people I know think common sense is a no-brainer, something everyone knows. Knows implies “knowledge” which means you would have had to learn this fact, that is common. Therefore, how can it be deemed common if you have to learn it. Realization would be you could not. That it should be “learned knowledge”. But, that does not have the same ring does it? Because, then it implies someone has to learn, which gives them an excuse, an out, a way to explain why they don’t know what the whole world does! (now a breath). Does that make sense to you? Am I really coming out of left field here?

I really do no think so. My dad used to say, “You don’t get common sense till 20”, Science states the brain does not finish forming till about 25. But, we tell teens, and younger than 20 they need common sense. Are you really kidding me right now? I think maybe we need to say, “You need to gain knowledge, and learn how to apply it. AKA Wisdom”.  That would tell the person whomever they are, where the problem is, and how to find it.

 

Put your left foot in, Pull your left foot out…

Okay, so maybe you will have the hokey-pokey in your head for a while, but that is how I feel. Let me explain.

I adore magazines, all of them! I have probably a foot tall pile every month. It’s my chakra, my relaxation. It is just “my thing”. I will play a wonderful movie and flip pages for hours. Here is where my feet come into play. I feel like I need to go to all digital editions, and give up my paper. One foot in the present and one in the past. I cannot help it, I’m so conflicted!

I don’t use DVD’s (I have streaming from my cable provider, hulu, amazon prime, apple movies, and Netflix!), so I’m hip deep in the present for that. Although if I cannot access my subscriptions I get a bit grouchy! But, to give up my Magazines?? I am not sure I possess the willpower. I have the online versions too, but I still relax with paper. There is just something about flipping those pages. What is a girl to do?

P.s. I don’t throw them away, I did once, it was horrible I sent boxes to the recycle bin, I cried. I just cannot do it. If you ever need a 2014 Vogue I’m your girl! Sometimes, I think that we have become a bit too digitized and we need to be more hands on with things. Well that and I cannot make myself part with them 😉

Xoxo Wendy

The future is now…

Have you ever heard that phrase? The future is now? I used to think growing up that it would be a long time before I would be in the future. But, Not Kidding, it really is now. Just think of it, 15 years ago there was no such thing as an I Phone. We were all enamored with portable CD players and huge clunky cell phones. Wow, has the world really evolved that much?

Every book ever written (just about) is now at your fingertips. Every newspaper too. No longer do you have to sit in a dank basement looking up files, or microfiche. Now, you can research your family online, you can solve any problem, and learn how to make, unmake or construct anything with just a few keystrokes.

I keep saying it’s amazing to myself, but that is not it. It’s like every other stepping stone in civilization, a step. Just a bit more dramatic than others. Although I’m sure those who were alive when the printing press was invented thought that was the cusp of mankind.

Don’t take it personally….

First of all, “Are you kidding me?”! Wait, wait, “Try not to take it personally.”, excuse me while I roll my eyes a few times. Let’s just look at this and maybe we can reason this out.

A person you don’t know personally, have no contact with has been having a bad day, week, year, existence, whatever. You happen upon this person. The only thing you do is look at this person, and the damn breaks. First it’s a twitch, you see it coming, and then KA-BLAM!! Profanity out of the devil’s own play-book, and then some that you are just sure they made up comes flying out of their mouth.

First you sit there stunned, not sure what to say.  Then slowly as it keeps coming, and you realize that they are calling you all those things, one of two things happens. One, you blink to yourself, and say “Oh no, they didn’t!” and then it’s on. Or, you continued sitting in silence while you inwardly hope that they get a hold of themselves and apologize. This might last a few sentences, then all bets are off and you revert to choice one. Unless you are in customer service, then stunned silence is your bedfellow. (yup, I am going there!)

In customer service you get paid to make people happy, give the best possible solution, answer questions, etc, and so on and so forth. You get the idea. I’ve been in this business for a very long time. And, I will tell you something. Don’t take it personally, is a motto. You have to, no matter how inwardly you want to extend your hand and just.  . . (insert wonderful happy blissful mental image here). But, you don’t have to take it inside you. If you do then you are the one who might flip out. I’ve flipped out on people and I’ve been the one flipped out on.

My point is this, you are a human being and you are wired to look out for yourself. You are wired to not want to put up with any of this, to not want to stand for it. It’s a perfectly logical reaction.  So rather than go with the premise, “Don’t take it personally”, how about, “don’t let someone’s attitude define you”, as the wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” You have a choice, and you know, you will make bad ones, you will make good ones. Sometimes, you will take the higher path, that’s cool. And, then you sometimes will take the worst path. When you do, as soon as you realize what your doing, hush. take a few breaths, and take it from there.

I still say it’s impossible NOT to take it personally, but you can choose not to react badly to it.