And she grew

I looked out on my days, and saw that their were many. Many different kinds of days, some good some bad. But they were pretty even in distribution of good and bad. So why is it I recall more of the bad things than the countless good ones?

I think as a race humans focus on what stops us, what we trip on and those things that constantly get us down. Those things that keep us from enjoying the wonderful things around us. We literally say “Stop this is bad , now wallow in it” rather than the “Omg that’s bad get it away from me”. We want to understand where we went wrong, or were wronged so we can not feel that way again.

A lot of the time though, we get caught in that “wrong” we forget to learn. We sit down on the stump of pain and refuse to get up because we are afraid the next feeling or situation will be worse than this stump, and this stump did not kill us so why should we move? You don’t feel that way? It’s just me? Are you kidding me, come on you know you feel this way too.

It’s hard to get up, get over, crawl our of that disgusting pit of pain and heartache, but now that you know heartache, pain and the like you will seriously treasure and savor all the good relationships that come your way. You will hold on a bit tighter to those you have, those feelings you have , well as long as you let the pain and suffering go.

Pain and suffering are meant to teach us what NOT to do. They are only supposed to be felt BRIEFLY , not forever. I so miss this sometimes. I get down there and figure there is nothing else, no one else, and that life can never get better. But, I have a bunch of people and family around me who remind me just how wonderful life really is.

Lesson: Let pain be something temporary and small and something grasped then dropped, not something clung to as it is life.

Someday I’ll be a grown up, just not today =^.^=

A note about Depression

I really don’t know what your life is like, but mine is a bit complicated. I have a chemical imbalance, which makes me very weak to depression. I have to be very very careful. And, since I have this battle and I have found a few things that work for me, maybe they will work for you, while you battle Cabin Fever.

1. Exercise. I have to, HAVE to work out at least once a day, more if I can. When the world was different I used to swim, now I bounce on a ball and Ride an exercise bike.
2. Blog. The more I write on here the better I feel. I take a chance putting my thoughts out there for the world to see, but I find it very positive in my well being. Just getting it out helps. I also Journal.
3. Keep a Planner. Write down what you do so you can reflect and understand you just did not stay in your PJ’s all day.
4. Put your shoes on. Even if you don’t go anywhere. It helps with a mind set.

These are basics, let me know if you have any to add just comment below.

When is enough?s

How many times in your life have you decided how you were and what you were doing were just not how you should be? How many times in your life have you decided to change that? Lots, once? For me, it’s LOTS. Every time I turn around I get, you should do this not that. Be like this, not that. That is not healthy stop it! I’m at the point that I really am saying, “Are you kidding me”?

I watched Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle yesterday and it made me think, it had a reoccurring theme. One life, just one. We all have just one life. I am always kicking myself for the things I think I should be doing, places I should be going, and the habits I should be breaking, but don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made a lot of progress. I quit smoking, I’ve lost a little poundage, made a few baby steps into being a social butterfly. Point is while I’m kicking my own butt, I really am quite okay. And, that is what we all want to be, okay.

I made the Deans list last semester, and it almost killed me. But, I did it and it’s going on my resume. Along with being an honor society Greek girl. I think my problem is I don’t stop long enough to evaluate where I have come from. I think my problem is I’m so focused on getting to the finish line, looking ahead, I don’t appreciate the journey.

That journey is the point. And, I will tell you I’m not digging it. I am kicking my own butt, and being horrible to everyone (sorry btw), and just being miserable. So, sigh… chalk up another habit that needs to go the way of the dodo. It’s okay though, This might be a fun one to break. I posted a picture of Wednesday Adams as my spirt animal yesterday, it was meant to make people laugh. But, it’s true, I do not smile, and that needs to change, soon. Maybe not today, but slowly I will do this.

Does anyone else have this issue? Or, is it just me?

😉 Loves and Kisses,

This is my happy face …. for now 😉